Join THEGAYHOTSPOT.COM Crew and all of your friends for our 2nd Annual Pre Pride Brunch at the new Finca!   TGHS is thrilled to once again be a media sponsor for the 2012 Utah Pride Festival and to celebrate, we will be hosting another pre pride brunch!  This year we have secured a fantastic location.  Finca is a brand new restaurant in the heart of one of Salt Lake Citie’s favorite Gayborhoods.  Finca features contemporary Spanish cuisine sourced from Utah producers. Utilizing Pago’s ( their sister restaurant on 9th and 9th) strong ties to the local food community.

They will cater the delicious meal and we will bring the fun!  You can expect the usual TGHS set up, good food, yummy drinks, fun music, great company and even some give a ways including of course, Pride Festival tickets!  All that for only $16!  Finca is a cozy restaurant so space is limited!  Buy your tickets now to secure your spot and get on the list, using the “BUY NOW” button below.   Can’t wait to see you all there!

Menu:

House Made Breakfast Pastries
Finca Eggs Benedict Slider
Ham & Cheese Croquettas
Tortilla Espanola, chorizo chip
Mini Empanadas
Albondigas Skewer

Cash Bar to include:

$4 mimosas $3 Bloody Mary’s $3 Sangria
Sangria Bloody Mary Bar
Olives, Pepperoncinis, celery, hot sauce, pickled carrots

Michael Cox, Author

Read previous Cock Tales

Previously on Cock Tales:  It’s the summer of 2008, same-sex marriage is now legal in California and Peter is marrying his long time partner, Roger.  But Peter’s best friend, Kelly, brings news that may complicate this wedding.

Peter looked awful, like he’d been hit in the face… and had a stomach virus… and was passing kidney stones.  It was going to be a lovely wedding.

“Kelly, this isn’t fair,” Peter said to his best man.

“I know, and I’m sorry… but I just realized.”  Kelly had just dropped a bomb on his closest friend, and with the stress of the wedding and the severe storm warning, Peter couldn’t handle it.

A waiter came into the room gathering a variety of empty glassware.  Everyone was silent and the waiter couldn’t help but notice the palpability of the room.  There were rocks glasses, stemless martini glasses, and of course, the large and voluptuous looking martini glasses that we all associate with margaritas.  Margaritas, in a variety of forms, like the Naked White Lie, were what we were drinking.

Margaritas make me think of warm weather and sunshine, but the skies were grayed with looming storm clouds.

Try the Naked White Lie

“All my life it seems that I’ve known you’re my best friend,” Kelly went on, once the waiter left, “And if I ever wanted to tell anyone anything, it was you.  And if I ever felt confused or lost, it was you I wanted to talk to.”

“Stop it, Kelly.  You’re scaring me,” said Peter.

I turned away from them to give them a little privacy, but let’s face it—my camera was still running and pointed toward them.  This was a disastrous moment for a lot of people, but I’m a documentarian.  I’m constantly searching for conflict, and I can’t just turn that off.

“You’ve always been there for me,” Kelly explained.  “And I don’t want to be there for anyone else but you.  I’m so, so dense, but I just realized that that’s love.”

Peter looked wounded and angry.  “Shit,” he said.  He put on his shoes in silence and tied them with double knots.  No one else in the room moved or even breathed.  “I’m going to get some tea.  Do you want anything?” asked Peter.

I didn’t turn around or acknowledge the question.  I wanted to be an invisible observer, a fly on the wall, ever watchful but never with commentary.  Gravely, I heard Kelly whisper, “No, thank you.”

In the end, what was this?  Peter’s best friend was causing a scene just before his wedding, declaring his undying love.  It was embarrassing and tacky, but life went on.  Kelly would sober up before the ceremony and the discomfort would pass, disintegrate, overwhelmed by the joy of the celebration.

Peter was just about out of the room when Kelly stopped him.  “Well, maybe I will have some tea,” Kelly said.  “What kind do they have?”

Peter slowly turned around and looked at Kelly with his mouth agape.  “I don’t know,” he said.

“Do they have anything without caffeine?” asked Kelly.

“I’m sure they do.” Peter continued to leave.

“But not decaffeinated,” Kelly clarified, “Naturally caffeine-free—like something herbal.  If all they have is decaffeinated, then something low in caffeine, like a green or a white.  Unless they have oolong.  I love oolong, and in that case I don’t mind the caffeine.”

His face completely without expression, Peter responded.  “I’ll bring you a selection,” he said, and then he left the room.

Alone in the room with Kelly, I could no longer remain invisible. This was one of those awkward situations in which I couldn’t hide behind my camera.  I tried saying nothing.

“I’m sorry, Kyle,” he broke the silence.

“It’s not my wedding,” I replied.

“I shouldn’t have let it go this far.”

“What?”  I was mystified.  Here he was talking like this whole wedding, and Peter’s eight-year relationship with Roger, was a mistake that he should have prevented.  “You mean you shouldn’t have said anything at all?” I clarified.

“I should have said it earlier.”

“You know this marriage is not about you,” I told him, getting angry.  “I’m not getting involved, but…  Peter is the biggest gay politician in California since Harvey Milk.”

He quickly turned the tables on me, to make me look like the selfish one.  “I’m sorry I’m ruining your documentary, Kyle.”

“California is only the second state in the Union to allow same-sex marriage,” I said.  Now I was really mad, and I wasn’t about to let him think that his drunken tantrum was justified.  “And already people are passing around petitions to stop it.”

“I know.”

“This marriage is bigger than you.”

“They can’t do anything,” he tried to defend himself.  “The state Supreme Court has ruled that discriminating against gay marriage is unconstitutional.”

“They plan to change the constitution,” I responded.

“So…”  He tried to gain his footing, but he was walking on a slippery slope.  “We won’t let them change it.”

“So!”  I jumped on him.  “This marriage is the symbol of a lot of people’s long, hard fight.  Inalienable rights don’t just come to us.  We have to work for them.”

“Look, this door is wide open now.  It’s gonna happen.  Whether they like it or not.”  He dismissed me as Peter returned with a couple of mugs of hot water and a selection of teas.

“This is a blend of green tea and herbs,” said Peter, calm and matter-of-factly.  “This is green and white tea, and this is a blend of green tea and oolong—I’m not going to pretend that I’m not upset about what you just said.”

It was about time Peter let Kelly know what a twit he was being, and it was good to see that Peter was calmly putting this behind him.

“That was very selfish and very childish,” Peter went on, plunging a tea bag into his mug of water almost manically.  “I have enough stress today.  I have enough to worry about—with a wedding and a… severe storm warning on the horizon—and now you’re putting me in the position of worrying about you.  This is supposed to be my day, and it’s turning out to really suck.  I just can’t be everything for everybody anymore, and the worst thing about it is…”  He set down his mug and looked up at Kelly.  “I love you too.”

Peter began to cry like someone who has let a huge weight off his chest and can finally breathe again.  “I think I always have.  And right now I can’t imagine living without you.”

Next time on Cock Tales:
Kyle must come to terms with why this wedding is so important to him.

Get the Naked White Lie recipe on Page 2.

Bearracuda SLC is this week! A celebratory evening of fun for bears of ALL kinds and those who are attracted to them, or just simply find them some of the nicest guys within the Queer subculture.

Most all of my very favorite writers are Irish; Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, Samuel Beckett, and James Joyce. So naturally I am going to go to THE gay Irish writer–Wilde, for one of my favorite quotations which I feel has a lot to do with modern day Queer BEARS! “Know Thyself” was written over the portal of the antique world. Over the portal of the new world, “Be Thyself” shall be written. God, truer words could not have been foretold by Wilde of OUR contemporary Queer times, at least I think so. It’s really about a few simple (however not easy) values; authenticity, courage, kindness, self-worth, acceptance of all, service, equality, and most importantly love. These are common to Bears.

The modern-day Bear Community is welcoming, dishes or tolerates little to no drama, is accepting and affirming of self and others, mostly image comfortable, adjusted, and just fucking friendly. That’s why I am glad I am a card-carrying BEAR! The 90’s almost did me in, what with the fashionable & endless decade of Smoothe and the constant shaving, waxing, laser hair removal treatments, and the full-tilt addiction to depilatories of all names–for removing hair, wool, or bristles! When the century turned, the Queer male (and some Lesbians) world once again embraced the DNA given to them, and we now see chest hair aplenty! WOW, and it’s pretty Goddamned GREAT!

So, what the hell is a BEAR? The queer community almost gets it. However I am constantly educating my straight friends as to–what is a Bear? It’s gotten to the point now, where–if appropriate and possible, I just lift up my T-shirt with one hand, grab my facial hair with the other hand, rubbing in circles and scratching simultaneously, which is hard to do depending on the number of beers & tequila shots one has consumed, and I proudly say “THIS is a bear!” Responses vary from HOT to Eewwww to Oh My God!

Basic brush-up ‘bout bears:

• “Bear” is a slang term that refers to members of a subculture within the homosexual and bisexual male communities and to an emerging subset of GLBT communities with events, codes, and a culture-specific identity.
• Bears can be, but not limited to heavy-set men and are characterized as having hairy bodies and facial hair; some are also muscular; some project an image of rugged masculinity in their grooming and fashion appearance.
• Some bears place importance on presenting a hypermasculine image.
• Bears love their boots, Levis, butch & multi-pocketed cargo shorts, ball caps, plaid, t-shirts, as well as two tone t-shirts. (please see: http://www.zazzle.com/gay+bear+clothing)
• Bears come in various types–

Otter–a rather slim, but excessively hairy gay man. (Much like a real otter looks in the zoo or wild.) Wolf–a gay man who is older, hairy, but DOMINANT and assertive if not aggressive in his quest for male partners. Some wolf life partners seek out playmates who are not like them, who are less assertive. Think of real wolves on the prowl.

Cub Bear–a younger (or younger looking) version of a bear, typically but not always with a smaller frame. The term is sometimes used to imply the passive partner in a relationship.

Muscle Bear–another subculture noted by their muscular body mass AND hair.

Leather Bear–bears who embrace the leather and/or fetish communities to different degrees.

Polar Bear–a white or silver-haired “Daddy” type.

Lion–A bear (regardless of age), typically with long red or blond hair.

Holy Hell, it’s mind-boggling you say. I agree. But to know your various bears–is to love them ALL!

I’m surely and simply not a fan of the Bible, but if I had to choose one story contained therein, it might be this one from 2 Kings 2:23-24

“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. On the way some boys came out of the city and made fun of him. They said to him, “Go up too, you baldhead! Go up too, you baldhead!” Elisha turned around, looked at them, and put a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys to pieces.”

I Love the bald-headed older bear as the protagonist. Love the name calling smooth twinks. Love the “Soprano’s-esque” blood, guts, gore, and revenge. Love the pure fictional bullshit. BUT most of all LOVE that BEARS get the hit job done, done, and DONE!

Just like Yellowstone National Park, there are some friendly tips to “getting along” OR “getting it on” with a BEAR.

1. DO feed the bears.
2. Bears like Beer! Some are Beer Connoisseurs, other could care less. Some prefer beers & shots (i.e, Strong shots, Honey/Nectar flavored tequilas, Jager, etc.)
3. Never deny a bear hug, hug back, and hug with fervor.
4. Bears love butts: all kinds–some butts are lookers, some are pinchers, some are biters. Beware if you have a biter butt!
5. Bear Land: all are welcome, as long as judgement, gossip, or catty comments are left at the door.
6. Bear Events: go to one. Hell go to several, you’re guaranteed to be respected and have a great time.
7. Bear Maturity & Masculinity: they have life experience, wisdom and history, and are willing to share.
8. From Boomer Bears, to X-er Bears, to Nexter Bears: bears span all generations.
9. Beardom or Boredom: do not feel obligated to converse with a bear who has no sense of humor.
10. You can Lead a Bear to Culture but can’t make him partake.
11. International Bear Brotherhood: gatherings galore. Google. Ask any bear. Ask for stories and details they love to share.

Hurray for Hirsute! (look it up)

Woof, and Grrrrr!

If you are a bear, or if after this article you’re thinking about a bear hunt, check out the Bearracuda Party coming to SLC this weekend!

Bearracuda SLC is this week! A celebratory evening of fun for bears of ALL kinds and those who are attracted to them, or just simply find them some of the nicest guys within the Queer subculture.

Most all of my very favorite writers are Irish; Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, Samuel Beckett, and James Joyce. So naturally I am going to go to THE gay Irish writer–Wilde, for one of my favorite quotations which I feel has a lot to do with modern day Queer BEARS! “Know Thyself” was written over the portal of the antique world. Over the portal of the new world, “Be Thyself” shall be written. God, truer words could not have been foretold by Wilde of OUR contemporary Queer times, at least I think so. It’s really about a few simple (however not easy) values; authenticity, courage, kindness, self-worth, acceptance of all, service, equality, and most importantly love. These are common to Bears.

The modern-day Bear Community is welcoming, dishes or tolerates little to no drama, is accepting and affirming of self and others, mostly image comfortable, adjusted, and just fucking friendly. That’s why I am glad I am a card-carrying BEAR! The 90’s almost did me in, what with the fashionable & endless decade of Smoothe and the constant shaving, waxing, laser hair removal treatments, and the full-tilt addiction to depilatories of all names–for removing hair, wool, or bristles! When the century turned, the Queer male (and some Lesbians) world once again embraced the DNA given to them, and we now see chest hair aplenty! WOW, and it’s pretty Goddamned GREAT!

So, what the hell is a BEAR? The queer community almost gets it. However I am constantly educating my straight friends as to–what is a Bear? It’s gotten to the point now, where–if appropriate and possible, I just lift up my T-shirt with one hand, grab my facial hair with the other hand, rubbing in circles and scratching simultaneously, which is hard to do depending on the number of beers & tequila shots one has consumed, and I proudly say “THIS is a bear!” Responses vary from HOT to Eewwww to Oh My God!

Basic brush-up ‘bout bears:

• “Bear” is a slang term that refers to members of a subculture within the homosexual and bisexual male communities and to an emerging subset of GLBT communities with events, codes, and a culture-specific identity.
• Bears can be, but not limited to heavy-set men and are characterized as having hairy bodies and facial hair; some are also muscular; some project an image of rugged masculinity in their grooming and fashion appearance.
• Some bears place importance on presenting a hypermasculine image.
• Bears love their boots, Levis, butch & multi-pocketed cargo shorts, ball caps, plaid, t-shirts, as well as two tone t-shirts. (please see: http://www.zazzle.com/gay+bear+clothing)
• Bears come in various types–

Otter–a rather slim, but excessively hairy gay man. (Much like a real otter looks in the zoo or wild.) Wolf–a gay man who is older, hairy, but DOMINANT and assertive if not aggressive in his quest for male partners. Some wolf life partners seek out playmates who are not like them, who are less assertive. Think of real wolves on the prowl.

Cub Bear–a younger (or younger looking) version of a bear, typically but not always with a smaller frame. The term is sometimes used to imply the passive partner in a relationship.

Muscle Bear–another subculture noted by their muscular body mass AND hair.

Leather Bear–bears who embrace the leather and/or fetish communities to different degrees.

Polar Bear–a white or silver-haired “Daddy” type.

Lion–A bear (regardless of age), typically with long red or blond hair.

Holy Hell, it’s mind-boggling you say. I agree. But to know your various bears–is to love them ALL!

I’m surely and simply not a fan of the Bible, but if I had to choose one story contained therein, it might be this one from 2 Kings 2:23-24

“From there Elisha went up to Bethel. On the way some boys came out of the city and made fun of him. They said to him, “Go up too, you baldhead! Go up too, you baldhead!” Elisha turned around, looked at them, and put a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and tore forty-two of the boys to pieces.”

I Love the bald-headed older bear as the protagonist. Love the name calling smooth twinks. Love the “Soprano’s-esque” blood, guts, gore, and revenge. Love the pure fictional bullshit. BUT most of all LOVE that BEARS get the hit job done, done, and DONE!

Just like Yellowstone National Park, there are some friendly tips to “getting along” OR “getting it on” with a BEAR.

1. DO feed the bears.
2. Bears like Beer! Some are Beer Connoisseurs, other could care less. Some prefer beers & shots (i.e, Strong shots, Honey/Nectar flavored tequilas, Jager, etc.)
3. Never deny a bear hug, hug back, and hug with fervor.
4. Bears love butts: all kinds–some butts are lookers, some are pinchers, some are biters. Beware if you have a biter butt!
5. Bear Land: all are welcome, as long as judgement, gossip, or catty comments are left at the door.
6. Bear Events: go to one. Hell go to several, you’re guaranteed to be respected and have a great time.
7. Bear Maturity & Masculinity: they have life experience, wisdom and history, and are willing to share.
8. From Boomer Bears, to X-er Bears, to Nexter Bears: bears span all generations.
9. Beardom or Boredom: do not feel obligated to converse with a bear who has no sense of humor.
10. You can Lead a Bear to Culture but can’t make him partake.
11. International Bear Brotherhood: gatherings galore. Google. Ask any bear. Ask for stories and details they love to share.

Hurray for Hirsute! (look it up)

Woof, and Grrrrr!

If you are a bear, or if after this article you’re thinking about a bear hunt, check out the Bearracuda Party coming to SLC this weekend!

For all of our Bear fans and everyone who wonders what happens to a boy band after 30 years!

 Drew McGee, Author

As a kid, I was fascinated by the scene in the Wizard of Oz where Dorothy and company confront the “great and powerful Oz.” Toto sniffs the man out from behind an emerald curtain in the corner, and realizing he was exposed, the wizard tells the motley crew: “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.”

The man behind the curtain is the one getting the work done, putting on a great show and appearing to be a scary mystic floating head. When in reality, it’s one guy, working hard, pulling all the strings. At the most basic level, it’s the same thing with a Pride Festival, more specifically the Utah Pride Festival. Attending the Utah Pride Festival you just see the rainbows, drinks and booths that celebrate our diverse and energetic comunuty. When you pull the curtain aside, there is a multitude of dedicated volunteers and who make all the fun and parties happen. It’s one hell of a good show!

This year the festival will take 1,200 people to pull the whole thing off. We need people to:

• Set-up
• Take tickets/staff the gates
• Staff the beer, soda and wine stations (no drinking included)
• Collect recycling and trash
• Keep everything clean
• Strike the festival after closing on sunday
• and much more!

Every year I am inspired and stunned by the passion and work undertaken by these people.  They are my coworkers, elders, peers and friends, and you can help us make the 2012 Utah Pride Festival a success!   That success generates revenue that supports the Utah Pride Center 365 days a year for thriving programs that offer safe spaces, support groups, workshops, social events, community advocacy and referrals for the LGBTQ community.

“How do i register to volunteer you ask?”  It’s as simple as clicking your heels and saying “there’s no place like home” three times!

Follow this link, http://utahpridefestival.org/participate/volunteer, to fill out an application.  You can sign up for as many three-hour shifts as you want, and when volunteer you get a free t-shirt and free admission to the festival on the day you volunteer, not to mention a warm and gooey feeling for being an active member of the community!  We are also looking for Business Partners, Community Partners, and Interfaith organizations.  All of that info can also be found at the same link.

So step behind the curtain and volunteer for the Utah Pride Festival!